Unspeakably Recruited
by TheBlackHand724
Summary: This is a Prequel to Unspeakably Retired. it the first in a series of one shots showcasing Harry's career as an Unspeakable. The war is over, and Harry is bored and looking for something to do. Rated T for language.


As the sun came up and washed the grounds of Potter Manor in light as it refracted off the dew on the grass. Harry and Neville walked out the front door dressed in shorts and t-shirts. They stretched for a few minutes and set out on their normal five mile run. It was something Moody drilled into them when he trained them to fight the war. Wizards are lazy. They stand in one place and toss spells back and forth. If you could run, dodge, duck, dive and move you couldn't be hit with spells. For the most part spells were slow. Standing twenty feet apart, if you were fast enough, you could dodge any spell fired by your opponent.

The mid June air was crisp and smelled like wet grass as they ran around the house, through the gardens, passed the huge yard, through the woods and onto the three lane wide race track that surrounded the property. The track was built by his grandfather in 1965, it was a replica of the old Silverstone Grand Prix track and came in at just over three miles. The run to the track, one lap around, and a run back to the house was almost five miles exactly. The two men had it down to a routine. The starching, the run, and the cool down workout was one hour. They did this every day. It was a chance to clear their heads. It also had some very good results on their bodies. What used to be a skinny boy and a slightly fat boy were now two tall, well muscled warriors. As they ran Neville turned to Harry.

"It's Monday, you know what that means right?." He asked.

"I know." Harry said nodding.

"Well are you going to take the job or what?" Neville asked.

"No, I don't think I'm going to take the job. I don't want to work for the ministry. I know Amelia's the Minister now but that building is still full of corrupt assholes that only crave power. No thank you. Red robes are not in my future." Harry said.

"Well, if your not taking the job then I'm not either. The Aurors will just have to rebuild without us. Besides, it's not like we need the money." Neville said with a smile.

"No, Nev, it's not like we need the gold." Harry said

"But the action would be nice." Neville said.

"The action? Really? Two years of open bloody war and how many years of life and death situations wasn't enough action for you?" Harry asked with a smile.

"I don't know. The war's been over for what? A month?" Neville asked.

"Almost two." Harry said trying to count the weeks in his head.

"And since we ended it we've been hiding out here on the property." Neville said.

"I'm the one that's hiding my friend, You've all been back to the real world since then, and you've been worshiped and hounded haven't you? I hate that shit. They treat us like heroes now but just two years ago they were calling for our heads. Murders! They called us in the press because we got shit done." Harry said with disgust.

"They called us a lot worse. Remember when Amelia made us Hit Wizards for the Aurors?" Neville said with a sad smile.

"Fucking sheep." Harry muttered.

"But now that the war's over we have to get back to it. We fought to protect the British Wizarding world. Now we should be able to actually live in it. That's why I think we should keep the badges. Let's stay on as Aurors." Neville said laughing.

"Come on Nev. We've been over this how many times? You know how I feel." Harry said.

"I know, and a part of me feels the same way. But maybe things will start to change. Amelia is a good, honest person. She's going to be my mother-in-law someday soon. Maybe she can pull the country's head out of it's ass." He said.

"Maybe she can. She's a good, strong leader, but she can't do it right now. Too many Purebloods left alive to fuck with her on every level. She'll try to fix things but it's going to be business as usual for a few years. For now I want to get a lay of the land and see what the new wizarding world looks like. I'll keep the badge if you do, we're partners, we work better as a team and if you want to stay on as wizard cops then I'll stay on with you. But you know there's not much action left right? We killed all the really bad seeds." Harry said looking at his best friend and brother.

"No, you're right. They won't let us do anything fun like raids or warrants. They'll put us in shiny red robes and slap our faces on posters. We don't need the press like you said. So if we're not going back to work, what are you planning on doing today?" Neville asked.

"The parts I ordered for the 69 Boss came in, I had Dobby pick them up for me. I'll probably work on that for a bit. Maybe do some shooting later. It's been close to five weeks since I've touched my combat gear." Harry said.

"It's been even longer for me. If Mad eye was still around he'd kick our asses for letting our skills go to shit." Neville said.

"True. The old man did know how to light a fire under our asses." Harry said laughing.

"So, old cars, beer, loud rock music, and guns? How very Yaobo of you Harry." Neville said laughing.

"Fuck you, I know what the good life looks like. Don't hate me because I've found a Zen like peace from the simple things in life." Harry said.

"True, I've got to find a hobby now that we're done with the war. I tried my hand at gardening and it's just too boring. Maybe I'll toss on a band t-shirt and join you today."

"There's plenty of beer in the garage fridge, and you can hand me wrenches instead of Dobby. I don't think he likes hanging out with me in the garage anyways." Harry said.

"I'll join you then. Beer and AC/DC sounds fun." Neville said with a smile.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they ran around the track after that. When they came around the back of the track by the woods they turned off the track and cut through the trail in the woods headed back to the house. They finished their cool down workout and headed back into the house. Harry ran up the stairs to the top floor and down the hall to the Master suite. He opened the door and saw the love of his life, Hermione Granger, sprawled out across the bed still asleep. The blanket was kicked off reveling her green silk night dress encased body. Two years of training and fighting had turned her girlish body into a toned womanly figure. He walked over to the bed and leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. She groaned and her eyes opened. Her lips bent into a smile when she saw him.

"I was having a great dream. I dreamt that we were sitting at an outdoor café in Paris sipping espresso and eating little raspberry pastries. We should go to Paris for a few weeks. Susan and I will be done helping Amelia get settled into her new position as Minister this week." She said as Harry kissed down the side of her cheek and neck.

"We should go, Paris is for lovers after all." Harry said trying to climb into bed with her until she stopped him.

"Oh no you don't, not right now. You smell like a wet dog." She said pushing him away with a grin.

"Fine I'll go take a shower but when I get out we need to continue this conversation." Harry said kissing her one more time before heading off to the bathroom. As he went he stripped off his sweaty t-shirt and flexed his back and arm muscles at her making her giggle. He stopped at the door and looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. "Unless you want to wash my back for me?" He asked with a grin. It got bigger when she got off the bed.

"Only if you wash my hair." She said walking towards him with a sexy sway to her hips.

"My favorite part." Harry said.

"I'm sure it is." She said letting her night gown fall off her shoulders. Harry watched the green silk slid down her body and felt fire travel down his body. "Come on dirty boy. Let's get you cleaned up." She said grinning as she pulled him into the large shower stall. Harry picked her up and held her under the cold spray as the water heated up making her scream and giggle.

A half hour later Harry came out of the bathroom in a towel and headed to his closet. He pulled on some boxers and comfortable old jeans. As he walked to the back of the large walk in closet to get a black AC/DC t-shirt he spotted the medium sized black metal trunk next to the bench by his shoes. He stopped and picked up the trunk. He set it on the bench and opened the two locks in his magic and hand print. Inside was a black dragon hide vest, under that was a shoulder rig and a long flat wood box. He took out the box, set it on the closed trunk lid, expanded it, and opened the lid.

Inside the long wide case was an M14 rifle, an M1 Carbine, a Tommy gun, two Colt 1911s, a black ten inch razor sharp knife and five stacks of magazines full of ammo and a drum for the Tommy gun. The guns belonged to his grandfather, Charles Potter. He served in WWII, and ever since then he carried a gun. Harry read his journals, he knew why his grandfather was obsessed with muggles but more importantly their guns. Charles witnessed something that most wizards never saw. Muggle war.

The muggles knew how to kill and they did it better than any wizard would ever know. The muggle firearm was a real tool of death. The wand could kill one or two people with a spell. It took time to cast, power to cast, and if you missed you wasted time and power you didn't have. One trigger pull could kill one man and it cost you little to no effort. When Amelia called Moody to help the kids train for the war he showed up with a gun case. Moody had served with his grandfather in WWII. He followed the same principles. He taught them how to shot a few handguns and rifles and then he took them to his safe house in a small town in Kentucky. They went gun shopping, and came home with trunks full of guns. Harry had looked around but he knew he had his grandfather's collection back at the manor. Over the summer Moody taught them shooting drills.

Harry picked up one of the 1911s. The more ornate nickel plated 1911 with the ivory grips. He ejected the magazine and racked the slide to clear the live round in the chamber. He locked the slide back and checked the action for dirt and powder residue but the gun was as clean as it was when it came out of the factory. Harry dropped the live round back into the pipe, hit the slide lock, and the slide slammed forwards with a solid thunk. He slide the magazine back in and clicked the safety back on.

"Cocked and Locked like Moody taught us." Hermione said. Harry turned around and saw Hermione standing in the doorway to his closet in a bath robe.

"Yeah. I haven't touched this stuff in a month. Moody would kick my ass for neglecting my skills." Harry said tucking the pistol into the back of his jeans.

"You didn't need to. It's a good thing Harry. You shouldn't have to touch that stuff. Unless you want to." She said looking at the case sadly. She had one just like it, but unlike Harry she hid hers on the top shelf on her closet where she never had to look at it again. Two years of open war taught her many things, but it drove home one over all truth, War is Hell.

"You're right of course, but it would be a shame to let my skills go to waste." Harry said feeling the comfortable weight of the gun in his back.

"I don't think we'll ever forget those skills Harry. Moody made sure of that." She said walking into her closet next door.

The four friends all met at the dining room table for breakfast at nine. The table was huge, just like the rest of the house, but the four friends sat on one side close to the kitchen so Winky didn't have to walk too far to bring out their plates. Something the mother hen insisted on doing. In fact she was scandalized when they tried to eat in the kitchen.

"We talked about it and we want to spend a few weeks in Paris. Maybe head down there next week. Drive to the ferry and take it to France and drive to Paris. We wanted to know if you guys wanted to come with us?" Harry asked looking at Neville and Susan.

"We're not doing anything, I think we should go." Neville said looking at his girl.

"I agree. We'll head out this weekend." Susan said.

"I'll call and make a reservation at a nice hotel later today." Hermione said

After that the four of them ate in a comfortable silence. Years of living together in the house made them feel easy with each other. Just as Breakfast was almost over the phone rang. Hermione walked over to the sideboard and picked up the gold vintage phone.

"Hello?… Oh Hi Amelia, do you want to talk to Susan?… oh, yes we were just going to get our bags together and head over there now… I doubt he'll like it but I'm sure I can get them to come in….we'll see you in a half hour…" She said hanging up. "That was Amelia, She says she wants all four of us in her office at ten. She needs to talk to us about something important." Hermione said.

"Well, shit." Harry said dreading the sea of people that where going to see him and try to touch him, or talk to him on the way to her office. "I'm wearing my cloak until we get to her office." Harry said. The other three rolled their eyes and smiled.

Ten minutes later the group portkeyed to the ministry entrance. The group of three plus one under an invisibility cloak walked right by the security desk without being stopped. As they walked through the lobby every head turned to look at the group and a hushed whisper fell over the lobby. The group was dressed in muggle clothes and they walked with an air of power and the grace of a predator. They got on an empty lift and got off at the top floor. Harry took off his cloak when they walked into Amelia's office. Seated in the office with her was a man in gray robes.

"The Fantastic Four. Have you two considered my offer to head up the Auror force?" Amelia asked as she greeted them all with a warm hug.

"We have to decline. Working for you during the war was great. Being Auror Hit Wizards gave us the right to do what needed to be done during the war and the department didn't ask questions. But now that the war's over, we just don't need the headache of dealing with the politics." Harry said taking a gold Aurors shield out of the pocket of his jeans and setting it on her desk. Neville did the same thing.

"Good, I was hoping you two would say that. I'd like you to meet Algernon Croaker. He's head of the Unspeakables." She said introducing the old man in the gray robes. The old man stood up and greeted them with a warm smile.

"I'm here to offer you both a job." He said without preamble.

"Not interested. You're looking for these two, Hermione Granger and Susan Bones. They're the bookworms." Harry said pointing to the girls with a smile.

"As a matter of fact I've already offered them jobs on the research end of the department. They have the skill set for our department and they got black envelopes the second the war was over. They've already interviewed for the jobs and they start as soon as they want to." Croaker said.

"So that's what you two have been doing every day for the last few weeks?" Harry asked the two guilty looking girls.

"We interviewed for the job but we wouldn't take it unless you both got in too. We don't keep secrets in this family." Hermione said.

"And we would love to have you two working with us. Now as you've stated Mr. Potter, you two are lacking the skills to work for the department's research side, but I'm offering you two jobs in the Operations side of the Department." Croaker said.

"What's Operations?" Harry asked looking confused.

"Operations is a new term for the field work side of the department of Mysteries. Field work does a wide variety of jobs, like collecting wild and dangerous ingredients and creatures for the research side of things. We also handle dark or dangerous magical creatures that bother muggles. We keep things like dragons and acromantulas a secret by killing or capturing any of them that get too close to exposure. But now that the war is over, Amelia upped the department's budget and tasked us with a new job. Stop threats both here and abroad. A intelligence and counter terrorism unit like Her Majesty's Secret Serves. In fact we'll be working with them to help stop threats to the whole UK, not just the magical side. This last war showed both us and the muggles how bloody magical warfare can get and the Muggles want to help us stop that from spilling out into their world too." Croaker said with excitement in his voice.

"Basically boys, I want you to stop the next dark lord before he rises. Stamp out corruption in the ministry too if you can, But most importantly I need you to help our Muggle counterparts do their jobs." Amelia said. "This war exposed us to more of the Muggle government than ever before. That includes their intelligence service. The muggles only see us at a threat at the moment. Any way we can be helpful to them will go a long way to patch up the bad relationship we have with them due to the war. Spy work is easy for us. We need to form a lasting bond with our Muggle friends in the ministry and help foster a new relationship. Hand over enough Magic and assistance as we can to build a bridge. The Americans work with magicals to help them stay at the top of the intelligence and counter terrorism game. We need to follow their lead." Amelia concluded.

"So you're talking about James Bond type stuff?" Neville asked excitedly.

"In a nut shell, yes." Amelia said smiling at Susan's future husband.

Neville turned to Harry who was playing it cool the whole time they were explaining things. "What do you say James? For Queen and Country?" He asked Quoting Sean Bean from Goldeneye. Harry knew his friend would jump at the opportunity, he loved James Bond movies. The summer of 1995 when Goldeneye came out he drug Harry to the theater six times to see it. Now was his chance to play spy. Harry looked at the girls. They both had the same looks on their faces. Supportive and happy mixed with a little fear. Harry looked at Neville's grinning face and knew he would join.

"After you 006." He replied with a grin and Neville practically cheered and hugged him.

"Good. I was hoping you two would join, well, actually I'm hoping you four along with Croaker can get this program off the ground. The standard Unspeakable way of doing things isn't going to cut it for the sort of missions this new branch will cover. You five need to sit down and hammer out a set of protocols, rules, and skill sets so you can get the department up and running. Use the skills Moody gave you to build a unit. You two were the best Aurors I had. A force of nature with these two working in the background to help you. Now go build me a team of heavy hitters that can take on the world. This is the number for Mr. Colin Smith. He's with the Ministry of Defense. He going to be the Muggle liaison for this new unit. He can answer any questions you might have on the muggle end of things and get you anything you might need. Aside from that I think my job is done here. Good luck gentlemen. Stay safe and keep me apprised." She said hugging them all as they followed Croaker out of the office and down to the DoM. He took them through the red door but unlike the last time they were down here in their fifth year the room didn't spin and name plates appeared on the doors.

"Well this is convenient." Harry muttered.

"It's my gold shield. It's the key to the room. Come on I'll show you the new wing we added for the new department. This is where you'll all be working." He said leading them down a hall with empty offices, a conference room, labs, and a huge training room. After the tour they sat down at the conference table and Croaker looked at Harry. "What are we going to need? Also what are your parameters for Agents? We need to start recruiting soon to get the department up off the ground." Croaker asked.

"I see, this is going to fall mostly on us? Fine, then we build up a unit to use the tactics we used against the Death Eaters. First thing we need is to improve these." Harry said pulling the 1911 out of his back and setting it on the table. "We used the standard guns during the war because we didn't have the time or the resources to improve them, now we don't have excuses. Hermione knows what I'm talking about, I bet she even has ideas already. Two months to work on a plan and design is a lot for her." Harry said.

"I've made some notes and planes since the war ended but I would like a team of Unspeakables to look over my work." She said with a smile.

"Secondly we're going to need to recruit Muggleborns. As many of them as we can. You heard Amelia, we're going to be working with Muggles, that means we have to dress, and act like muggles. No gray robes, no big wands, nothing to give us away. We need men and women that know how to walk across the street without getting hit by a car. That's the other thing, we're going to need a few cars. Apparition and portkeys are great for long distances, but if we're only traveling a few miles with a muggle consultant we need a car. She asked for James Bond, that's what we're going to give her." Harry said leaning back in his seat.

"Also I want toys, gadgets! I mean gadgets. You know, grappling hooks that shoot out of watches, laser pens for cutting through vault doors, gold lighters that have enough explosive power to knock down a building!" Neville said with a huge grin.

"Um, Honey, you're a wizard, you don't need any of that. You can apparate, vanish doors, and shoot explosive spells." Susan said gently.

"Right." Neville said looking sad.

"Chin up Nev. You're a wizard, that means if you ever need that stuff you can just conjure it." Harry said conjuring a gold pen. "Here, it shoots a laser beam that can cut through a vault when you pull the clip all the way back." Harry said patting his friend on the back.

"Cool, see Harry gets it." Neville said pocketing the gold pen with a grin.

"With that being said I still think Nev has a good idea. We can just conjure this stuff, but our new muggle friends that are not looking forward to working with us can't just conjure it. I think we should come up with a list of things that would be very useful to them. And make those items in a muggle friendly package. Like a peace offering. The point of this new partnership is to improve our relationship with our muggle friends so they don't fear and hate us and we don't end up in a magic proof cell. Muggles turn violent when they don't understand something and right now they don't understand us. We are offering them our skills free of charge. By the end of this year I want the two departments, muggle and magical to be one unit. We're all Brits." Harry said.

"I think the first thing we do is call this Mr. Smith and see what he says." Algernon said deep in thought.

The call was short, and too the point, they got a location and a time for the meeting. The location was an upscale restaurant in the heart of London, with a strict dress code and the time was seven sharp. The middle of the dinner rush. It was a test. They all knew it. He was testing them to see if they could get to the heart of the city and walk into a high end restaurant for dinner without drawing attention to themselves. Harry grinned at the test. Simple, and yet most of the wizards would fail miserably. He liked this Mr. Smith already.

"This Mr. Smith knows what he's doing. A simple test. Too simple, I want to prove something. Hermione, work on the guns, even if you just put the expansion charm on the magazine. Susan, I need you to get us some muggle clothes. Nice suits, and dresses, watches, handbags, shoes, all of it. Use my card." Harry said sliding her his black card. "Neville and I have a few things to work on. We'll meet you back here at six and drive over." Harry said walking out with Neville.

Mr. Smith stood by the front of the restaurant, he was dressed in a black three button suit, white shirt, and a dark blue tie with yellow stripes. The tie was held in place by a gold cross tie tack to show his University College house pride from his Oxford days. But those days were long past. His face was lined with age, his hair, what little there was of it, was more gray than brown, and his thick gold rimmed glasses showed signs of his failing vision. He carried a umbrella with a wood handle and he leaned on it to take the pressure off his bad right knee. He looked down at his gold Breitling watch and saw it was ten minutes to seven. He brought his right wrist up to his mouth and muttered.

"Ten to seven look alive people. Remember, were looking for odd balls. Most likely they'll be approaching on foot." He said into the mic on his jacket cuff.

"Copy sir, we're keeping our eyes open." Said a voice over the ear piece in his right ear.

Five minutes later a black BMW M5 rolled up to the valet. Two men got out of the front seats and opened the back doors for two women. They were dressed in black suits, white shirts, and red ties. The women were dressed in little black dresses and black heels. The driver popped the trunk and grabbed a black metal briefcase and the four for them walked into the restaurant. Smith looked at his watch again.

"God damned magicals. Their going to be late." Smith said under his breath.

The man with the briefcase walked back out and stood next to him. He pulled out a gold cigarette case and took out a Marlboro red. He held the case out to Colin.

"Would you like one?" He asked.

"Don't mind if I do." He said taking one. The man light his cigarette with a gold zippo and light his after. He took a deep drag and blew it out slowly.

"Say what you want about Americans being cowboys and what not, but they make a hell of a good smoke." The younger man said.

"True." Colin said looking around for the wizards he was going to be stuck working with.

"Waiting for someone?" The younger man asked.

"I am." Colin nodded.

"Me too. He's an old ministry type that did no research whatsoever about the people he was coming here to meet with. Instead he put spotters on the roof tops and instructed them to look for oddball types walking the streets." The younger man said taking another deep draw.

"So you're the agent?" Colin asked looking shocked.

"Harry Potter, at your service." Harry said holding out his hand.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Potter. I'm…."

"Colin Smith, real name Colin Calare the fourth. Graduate of Oxford 1942 with a degree in business, member of University house Crew team. Recruited to Her majesty's Naval intelligence during the war. You worked under admiral Jones and helped make the commando unit and you helped run the battle tactics of the unit in the field. After the war you worked on the front lines to combat the red scare. You were a liaison to the CIA for ten years during the 50s and 60s where you conducted 87 missions behind the wall. You were wounded in 1965 for which you were awarded the intelligence cross and the purple heart. You were reassigned to Cuba where you spent four years trying to work with the CIA to overthrow Castro. You were wounded again, this time shot in the knee during a bad deal with a rebel leader. After that you were assigned to the London training farm in Guilford. You are semi-retired now and you took this job because you owe somebody somewhere a favor." Harry said hushing out his cigarette in the ashtray.

"How the hell do you know all that?" Colin asked looking shocked.

"Well, first off, if you're going to keep top secret files in locked filing cabinets at the ministry, then you need to put up magical wards. Also I can read minds so stop thinking about your wife. Isn't it funny how I can make you think of your wife by mentioning her? Now for real lets sit down. My girl is starving and if we let Neville have a third scotch he won't be much help during the conversation." Harry said walking back into the restaurant.

"Well, this is definitely going to be different." He muttered hushing his cigarette butt out.

They were lead to a table in a private room at the back of the restaurant and once the waitress took their orders and brought the first bottle of wine to the table she left the room. Harry pulled out his wand and waved it at the four walls. When he was done the room felt too quiet.

"Silencing charm." Harry explained.

"So no one can hear us at all?" He asked looking shocked.

"No one. But I set a proximity spell on the door so when the waitress comes back with our food the door will turn into a one way mirror and we'll be able to stop talking. Until then feel free to speak about anything you want." Harry said.

"I must say you've really turned me around on the wizarding world. The last man I dealt with was a totally fool. He wore a bright blue bathrobe and a top hat and he asked me a lot of questions about random things, like plugs, and light bulbs." Colin said.

"That was Arthur Weasel. He was a bit off, but he was a good man." Harry said with a sad smile.

"Was?" Colin asked.

"Died in a raid on his house along with his wife and two youngest kids, Ron and Ginny. They were friends of ours." Harry said looking haunted for a minute and then shaking it off. Hermione took a little longer to get the sadness off her face.

"I'm sorry to hear that, and I feel bad for judging the man." Colin said feeling like a jerk.

"No, it's fine, Arthur was a bit off, like I said before. But a good man none the less. It was a sad day when we heard about the attack. We were dealing with another raid at the time and slow to get there. By the time we showed up the house was burnt to the ground and the four of them were on the front lawn. What's the saying? War is hell." Harry said speaking in a voice devoid of emotions.

"War is hell. I understand you four just helped to end that war. Now your looking to get in the war preventing business." He said.

"We are. We've been tasked to build an intelligence agency from the ground up to deal with not only magical threats, but also non magical threats as well. As you can see we have some skills but we need more, and more training. We've got a handle on open warfare. Fight in the streets. We also have some experience raiding houses at night. Wet work. But we need help reading the situation, breaking down a mission. Things like that. Spy craft." Harry said.

"Well, I could run you through boot camp, but you all look fit. I could send you to the farm, but the few thing's I've seen so far tell me you don't need the farm. What you need is mock missions. I think we need to take a few months and run a few mock missions so I can see what you guys can and can't do. I must say that most of this stuff is really handy. I wish I had some of that magic when I was running missions." Colin said with a smile.

"Funny you should say that. We've been talking and it's not fair for us to be working with you guys and not share some of the wealth so to speak. Neville and I are both fans of James Bond and we've come up with some magical toys for you boys down at the ministry of defense. This is just a test batch, but soon as we get our lab up and running we'll have more stuff for you to play with. For now we have a few things." Harry said placing the briefcase on the table and opening it.

"First off is my favorite. A laser pen." Neville said conjuring a safe. "Solid steel safe. Gold pen. Aim it at the safe door, or an enemy I suppose." Neville said pulling back on the clip when it was all the way up the thin laser shot out the front and cut through the door like it was butter. A few seconds and the heavy door fell off the safe and hit the ground with a thunk.

"My God." Colin said taking the gold pen he put his napkin on the table and wrote on it. The pen worked. In fact it was a nice pen on top of being a terrifying weapon.

"That's nothing. This gold lighter is a bomb. I can't tell you how powerful it is but the inside of the lighter is a hugely expanded chamber packed full of explosion powder. Enough to level a small building I would guess. It functions as a lighter, but if you twist off the top you have ten seconds to be far away from this thing. You can also set it off remotely if you take the bottom off the lighter. It's a button." Harry said sliding the bottom off the lighter and showing Colin the red button on the gold plate.

"So we're talking a pocket sized weapon of mass destruction?" Colin asked taking the gold lighter with a shaky hand.

"Yes, but not everything we made is destructive. We figured we do have one thing you guys could really use. It's called Veritaserum, a truth potion that is externally powerful. This tie bar has a small supply of it. One drop on the tongue of anyone and they will tell you which family member they had the hots for growing up." Neville said showing him the gold tie bar.

"This is crazy!" He said taking the tie bar.

"Not as cool as this. It's a skeleton key." Harry showed him a flat metal collar stay.

"let me guess, a lock pick?" Colin asked.

"Kind of. You place it on any locked door, no matter what kind of lock and it opens the lock." Harry said handing over the set.

"Any lock? Like a bank vault door?" Colin asked.

"Sure?" Harry said shrugging.

"Let's see what else we came up with?" Neville asked looking at the case. "Oh the scuba tank." Neville said taking out a cigar tube. He opened it and dropped a small mouthpiece connected to two silver cylinders. "You put this in your mouth and you have six hours worth of air." Neville said.

"But the real fun is this." Harry said holding up a gold key chain and a paper weight. "The paper weight is a beacon, and the keychain is a reusable portkey. The best way to explain this is just to show you. Here we'll set the weight on this table. Now take this key chain outside. When you think you're far enough away twist the link bar and pull it apart." Harry said handing him the key chain.

"This is not going to kill me right?" Colin asked with a smile.

"No Colin, this is going to one day save your life." Harry said watching Colin walk out of the room.

Colin walked out the back door of the restaurant into the alley. He looked around and saw he was all clear. He twisted the two haves of the key chain apart and he felt a rushing in the pit of his stomach. The world around him blurred and he found himself on his ass next to the table back inside the restaurant.

"What the fuck was that!" he yelled trying to get his head to stop spinning.

"That was a portkey. Almost instantaneous travel to the target. Use it for emergencies, use it to avoid traffic getting to work in the morning." Harry said. "By the way, the food arrived when you left." Harry said with a smile.

"How far will that thing work?" Colin asked setting the key chain on the table.

"I'm not sure, Hermione love, what's the limitations on a paired portkey?" Harry asked.

"There are none. It's not like a regular portkey. As long as the two objects have power still they will work. You made them out of conjured gold? Those things will last forever." She said between bites of her chicken.

"My God." Colin said feeling light headed.

"Relax Colin. That's just the tip of the iceberg. This partnership is not going to be just a one way street. We came up with that in a day. We made ten sets of everything you just saw. I have to warn you to be careful when you use this stuff and I have to ask that you keep it out of the public's hands. As you said some of it is very dangerous." Harry said with a smile.

"You guys came up with all this stuff in one day!?" Colin asked.

"Yes, and while we were doing that Hermione here was improving our guns. How many round does a standard 1911 hold?" Harry asked pulling the nickel plated 1911 from the back of his pants.

"7 in magazine and one in the chamber." He said looking at the normal looking gun.

"This magazine holds twenty times that now. 140 rounds of .45acp and the gun feels the same as it normally does. Again that was just her working for one day. I'm sure the department will come up with a lot more then that." Harry said smiling at Colin.

"You four are going to change the face of intelligence gathering forever." Colin said sitting back in his chair to look at the four of them.

"We know, but in order to do that we need a unit. To form a unit we need recruits. But before we even look at candidates, we need a training program. The cross section of the wizarding world that know what this is and how to use it are sitting at this table." Harry said holding up his 1911. "The recruits we get are going to be green. Young, and full of bad habits that will need to be broken the same way we we're three years ago. We had Mad Eye Moody. Arguably the best warrior in wizarding Britain. We need to find someone like him to break the recruits before we can even start to rebuild them. Then once they're up to this level they need advanced training in field craft, intelligence gathering, computer hacking, and anything else you can think of. Until we can get all that in place you're looking at the only two field operatives the Unspeakables have, and we're not ready yet. The question is Colin, are you in?" Harry asked.

"I'm in, and I know where to start." Colin said nodding.

Three months later…

Harry and Neville, now named Mr. Black and Mr. White respectively, sat at an outdoor café in London waiting for their target. It was mid September and the out door area in front of the café was enclosed in a white ridged tent with a screen door to keep the warmth in. that was the funny thing about London. The temperature was hovering in the low fifties but they put up a tent and heat lamps instead of taking down the outdoor area for the winter. In this city, you hold on to every little bit of nice weather you could. Soon it would be raining, then snowing and freezing.

Both men were wearing black suits, white shirts and red ties. Both men also wore a glamour on their faces. Harry sipped a small espresso while Neville drank a caramel cappuccino. Harry kept his eyes on his paper, but he kept his mind open to any sign of danger. Neville on the other hand was facing the hotel across the street and watched the door with one eyes and the street with the other.

"Mr. Black, do you think this is a waste of time?" Neville asked.

"If it is, then we spent the morning sitting in an outdoor café on a beautiful September morning Mr. White. What's the harm in that?" Harry said shrugging.

"True, still, we've been sitting here for two hours and they still haven't shown their faces, nor have our hitters." Neville said.

"I wouldn't say that, our hitters are here. On your 8 o'clock, the woman with the angular face and the dark hair sitting at the counter inside. She's ex KGB. The three men sitting at the table just inside the café on your 7 o'clock are the hitters. Also ex KGB. The man in the green van is the getaway driver. He's also back up, and ex KGB. Who ever the minister of defense pissed off is very high up in the Russian mob to be able to hire these guys." Harry said calmly.

"Then let's take them down." Neville said finishing his coffee.

"We can't. See the cell phone in her hand? It's connected to a very big bomb in a van in the underground parking garage of the hotel. The man in the green van has one too. The plan is to hit the secretary when he comes out of the building. The three men have AK47s under their coats. The secretary walks out with his guard detail, the three men get up and spray the front of the building with armor piercing rounds. No more Minister of defense and they don't have to level a whole building in the middle of downtown London to do it. The trick is to take out the two brains and then the men at the table. In a minute when this family clears out this café will be almost empty. That's when we'll make our move. You head over to the counter to buy a box of pastries, I'll walk out to the man in the van and take him down. When I walk back in grab the girl, knock her out and portkey out. I'll take down the three men and call for a clean up." Harry said keeping an eye on the mother and her two small daughters. She was helping them put on their jackets.

"This is going to be loud and messy. You know Colin hates loud and messy." Neville said looking at his watch.

"I know. But sometimes loud and messy is what the situation calls for. Besides, we have to test out the silencing charm on the guns anyways." Harry said folding his paper and finishing his espresso. He stood up and pulled on his black wool over coat. He walked to the door and held it open for the woman and her daughters. "Cute kids. They're very well behaved." He said with a smile.

"We'll they got to have mike and chocolate cake so they sat still." She said as they walked out.

"Have a nice day." He said walking out to the edge of the curb. He took out a cigarette and patted his pockets in a over the top act of looking for a lighter. He looked at the man in the van and saw him watching. "You got a light?" He asked walking over to the van. They guy rolled down his window and held up a red bic lighter. Harry stuck his face into the window and as the guy concentrated on lighting the cigarette Harry grabbed his head with both hands and twisted sharply snapping his neck like a twig. He pulled his 1911 from his invisible shoulder rig and activated the silencing rune under the barrel. He tucked the gun into his coat pocket and walked back into the café. As soon as Neville saw him he grabbed the woman in a sleeper hold and vanished. At the same time Harry pulled the gun out and opened fire on the three hit men. Before they could even blink they each got a double tap to the chest and a third shot to the head just to make sure the job was done. That's when the people in the café panicked.

"Everyone Remain Calm! I work for the government! And these men were plotting to kill the Minister of Defense." Harry said as Ministry agents in unmarked cars drove up to the building. That meant Neville made it back to the office. The first one through the door was a new Unspeakable recruit followed by three more muggle agents. "Stand down, the situation is handled. Check these three, and work on the crowd." Harry said before walking out of the café.

He walked across the street and into the lobby of the hotel. He took the stairs down to the parking garage and located the white van parked in the corner. He walked up to the van and pulled out his wand. He vanished the back doors and saw the eight barrels of fertilizer sitting on a big slab of C4. He looked at the wiring and though about the woman's memories of building the bomb. He pulled out a knife and located the red wire connecting the C4 to the device. He cut the red wire and the bomb shut off. That's when Harry let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He shrank the whole van and put it in a small heavy box in his pocket and popped back to his office. That's where he saw Croaker and Colin sitting.

"Report." Colin said.

"Five hitters, four of them dead, the brains behind all this is still alive. The bomb is deactivated. And the six people in the café that saw me shoot the three hitters are being obviated as we speak." Harry said taking off his black overcoat and hanging it on the coat hook.

"Very good. You're ready for something harder.

"I should hope so, we've performed flawlessly so far. We infiltrated the CIA, the Ministry, and pointed out flaws in the Queen's personal protection detail. On top of all that we're six for six on missions." Harry said taking a seat at his desk.

"Well, we've got three more missions for you to complete before we start opening the floodgates and letting you in on real Ministry of Defense missions. The first mission is an easy infiltrate and swipe. The second mission is a bit of the same but a lot more complicated. The last mission is kind of a graduation mission. Something most recruits go through." Colin said smiling.

"Good. Let's hear what we have to do." Harry said.

…One week later…

Harry Adjusted the brass stars on his green jacket as they approached the front of the line of cars. Neville was driving the black Lincoln town car, and he too was wearing a army uniform. They drove up to the guard and Neville held up his ID.

"General Wheeler and Captain Hartford." Neville said. The guard walked over to the back window and looked in.

"Good morning Sir. New driver?" He asked.

"Yes, Captain Carter got the flu. It's going around, I'm surprised I didn't get it." Harry said cracking his new fat and wrinkled face into a rye smile.

"Sorry to hear about Captain Carter. Have a nice day." The guard said handing Neville back the ID cards and opening the gate.

As they drove into the underground parking lot they could feel the wards of the building weighing down on them. From here out they had to use no magic or they would get caught. The mission was simple. Retrieve a dummy file placed in a locked filing cabinet by the CIA. A simple task until you saw where the cabinet was. On the top floor, of the inner ring, on the opposite side of the building, in the Pentagon. Neville parked the car and they got out. Both men were taking polyjuice potion. Harry was General Wheeler. A war monger that used his position on the Security committee to push for high priced contracts so he could get kick backs from the companies. Neville was playing the part of a lower man on the General's staff. A pretty boy named Captain Hartford.

They picked these two men because the General had top level clearance in the building, and because they knew they would be indisposed at this time of day on a Wednesday. Apparently hump day was literally hump day for these two. They would meet at the General's cabin in Virginia for a few hours to have sex before the General would drive back into town for his afternoon Senate budget hearing. Ambushing the two men in the cabin was too easy. Secret sex liaisons meant they where alone out there. Two stunning charms, some rope and a camera was enough to get a few hairs for the potion, and blackmail on the General who had a wife and three kids. There would be no call from him, the rope made sure of that. There was also no chance of word getting out about how this mission was accomplished. The pictures they took would keep that from happening. They approached their first real test. The elevator had a card swipe, and a hand print scanner.

Harry approached the scanner and swiped his ID card. It turned green and lit up the hand scanning pad next to the card swipe. He placed his hand on the panel and the doors to the elevator opened up. They got on and shared a small smile. One test down, six more to go.

It took a half hour to get to the sixth floor on the opposite side of the building, and five scanner tests. Finally they were in the hallway where the file was. That's when they saw the armed guard standing in front of the locked door marked file room M. Harry shared a look with Neville as they walked up to the guard. He saw the four gold stars on Harry's jacket, jumped to attention, and saluted.

"Sir. Can I help you General Wheeler? Sir." He asked in a crisp voice.

"You can start by telling me why an armed guard is stationed outside a file room that has low level documents. Shouldn't you be stationed in the basement guarding the state secrets?" Harry asked with a smile.

"Sir. My orders were to stand guard and report anyone trying to access this file room sir." The guard said.

"And who are you reporting to?" Harry asked.

"Sir, I'm starting to find this line of questions to be suspect sir. I think my superior officer should be notified." He said reaching for his radio.

"I wish you wouldn't have done that." Harry said grabbing the guard in a headlock as Neville dropped two drops of a yellow substance on his tongue from a ring on his finger. Soon the guard stopped fighting altogether. He went stiff and Harry let go. The guard stood tall and looked glazed over in his eyes. "You will stand guard like you were ordered and keep people out of the file room for the next ten minutes. When we leave forget you ever saw us." Harry said and the guard nodded. They slipped into the filing room and found the cabinet marked Ma and Harry opened the combination lock on drawer with his lock pick collar stay. As he looked through the files to find the one marked CIA Magic Unit, Neville stood guard by the door.

"How long do you think the compulsion drought will last?" Neville asked looking at his watch.

"Hermione said an hour." Harry said finding the file. He was about to pull it from the drawer when he saw a thin line connecting the file to a flash bang grenade. He smiled and cut the line with his pocket knife. As soon as he cut the line an alarm sounded. A steel rolling door slammed shut over the door to the room and they were trapped. "I did not see this coming." Harry said to himself as Neville tried the vanish the door. Nothing happened.

"Shit!" Neville said.

"Anti-Magic, the room is covered by a good ward I can feel it. I think it's time to give up now." Harry said with a smirk.

"Are you kidding me? I say we go with plane D." Neville said taking out a gold pen and smiling.

"Neville this is crazy! Our orders were to stand down if we got caught." Harry said.

"And then what? Wait for the Yanks to questions us? Call Collin and tell him we failed? Come on Harry we're on a roll! Lets finish this!" Neville said with a big grin.

"Fine. We finish it." Harry said taking out his pen. They started cutting a hole in the wall. Ten seconds later Neville levitated a big six foot tall three foot wide chunk of concrete out of the way as Harry conjured a rocket launcher looking device, a long coil of heavy black rope, and a big spike. He loaded the spike into the launcher aimed it at the concrete monument on the corner of the sidewalk across the street, he fired the spike into the monument and it stuck as Neville tied the other end of the rope to a petard he slammed into the wall above the hole.

Harry clipped a zip line rig to the line as the door opened and six guys in suits rushed into the room. Neville grabbed the zip line rig and jumped out with the file. Harry tossed his US flag pin at the six men and it popped like a flash bang grenade. In the confusion he clipped a zip line rig to the line and zipped right down to the corner. As soon as he landed Neville held out a leather belt and they portkeyed back to Colin's office in the ministry building. Colin looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

"I take it you two failed?" He asked.

"We got the file, but it was rigged with a spell to sound an alarm. That put the room into lock down and we had to use plan D to escape. You'll be getting a phone call in a few minutes. I had to drug a guard and use the flash bang pin on a group of agents. We also cut a hole in the pentagon, defaced a monument, and left a four star General tied up in his boxers, with his boyfriend, in his love cabin in Virginia." Harry listed off the things they did to get the file.

"Spy work is like being a scalpel, surgical, gentle, and not obvious. You two are like a fucking chainsaw. Your mission was to get the file without being caught. You two failed." Colin said shaking his head.

"Actually, We passed, we got the file and we didn't get caught, we escaped." Neville said with a smirk.

"Got out of my office." Colin said as the red phone on his desk started ringing. He picked it up with a sigh and before he could even say hello there was yelling over the line. "Out, and you better hope I can fix this!" He said pointing to his door."

The two would be agents left the office and portkeyed back to their office in the DoM. They took the antidote to the polyjuice, changed into their standard black suits, and walked down to the lab where their better halves were working. When they walked into the lab without smiles on their faces the girls knew something was up.

"It didn't go good today did it?" Hermione asked kissing Harry.

"No, I mean it went okay, but we're going to be in hot water for a while until we get out of the doghouse. We made kind of a mess. We're going to have to come up with a way to make it up to them." Harry said.

"It's not his fault, we were given strict orders. Get the file, don't get caught, don't kill anyone. We did all that. In fact we uncovered a scandal and a corrupt General taking kickbacks for military contracts." Neville said.

"Neville, Colin is right, we're supposed to be smarter than this, when the alarm sounded we should have given up." Harry said looking contemplative.

"And let the Yanks win?" Neville said looking shocked.

"And not cause an international incident that Colin has to clean up. I should have pulled the plug when the alarm sounded. We have to stop acting like cowboys. We cut a hole in the building and I flash banged a group of CIA agents. We have to act more responsible." Harry said regretting the whole plan that was mostly Neville's idea. He thought it was all part of the game but now he realized he overstepped his bounds by a lot. He was used to playing for keeps, he didn't know how to play it safe, and act like an adult.

"I still think we didn't do anything too bad. For the most part everything we did today can be easily fixed with magic." Neville said.

"True, but our relationship with the CIA can't be fixed that easily. It's going to be a while before we get called for help and that's the point of the department. We're the Ministry of Defense's toolbox players. One of our main allies is the US. We should have thought about that. Now what we need to do is find a way to patch up the bridge we just burned." Harry said.

"No what you need to do is go home. You're both suspended for two weeks, I don't want to see your faces." Colin said from the doorway of the lab. He looked pissed off. A look Harry had never seen before. He had disappointed his boss. Something he was not used to, and something that hurt him more than he thought it would. Growing up all of his mentors did nothing but sing his praises, and Harry put everything he had into making sure they kept that praise coming. Now his new mentor, who had nothing but shock and adoration for Harry and Neville looked like he never wanted to see their faces again. Call it what it was but Harry was not used to falling below the mark. And like a adderall addicted college honor student receiving his first B Harry wanted to do everything in his power to make it up.

"Boss, I am extremely disappointed in my actions today, I can promise you this will never happen again. I'll take my leave." Harry said kissing Hermione and walking out of the lab.

He stopped by his office and took his briefcase, gun case, and grey robe before he portkeyed back to Potter Manor. He hung his grey robe in the closet by the front door, and took his two cases down to the basement shooting range. He hung a target up and sent it out to thirty feet. He pulled the gun out of his shoulder rig, dropped the expanded magazine and inserted a standard seven round magazine. He took out his CIA files from his briefcase and set them on the bench in front of him. For the next twenty minutes he killed paper and looked over his files.

Neville found him in the range and walked in. He knew he was the more hot headed of the two and it got his brother in trouble more than he would like to admit. But Harry always got them out of it. That's what he did.

"Harry, I'm sorr…"

"No, don't do that. You were right. If it was a real mission then everything we did today would have been totally fine. We're so used to fighting real enemies we forget to turn it down when it's just a game. In the moment I was right with you. It's only when we got back did I figure out we fucked up. Now help me fix it." Harry said turning around and handing Neville a file. Neville didn't take the file, he pulled Harry into a bear hug.

"I am sorry brother." He said.

"I know, but you were right. The plan you had, it would have worked and to prove it we're going to do it again. This time, we're heading into enemy territory, and we're not bringing back fucking paper. We want to fix this we fix it. Remember what he called us?" Harry said.

"Chainsaws." Neville said looking at the file.

"Well, if we're chainsaws, then let's go tear some shit up." Harry said with a smile that was anything but nice.

…One week later…

The convoy of three trucks rolled up to a prison camp in the middle of the jungle in North Korea. The camp didn't exist, the foreign spies held in the camp didn't exist, so if a general with paperwork showed up one day and took the eight men being held at the prison, there was no one to complain about it. It didn't exist after all. Just like the five warheads from the ICBMs that the US didn't know existed. Those were sitting in the general's pocket along with a shrunken crate of Intel collected by North Korean spies over the past ten years. As the trucks rolled out of the camp with the prisoners. The generals face started to shift and twitch, he turned to the soldier driving the truck.

"Turn up here, and keep driving on this road until you reach an airfield. You're doing fine Hwan. Your wife and son will portkey out with us. You don't have anything to fear." He said before opening his door and stepping out on to the side of the truck.

He lifted himself into the back and looked at the eight men. They were in a sorry state. Beaten, starved, and tortured. He reached into his coat and pulled out eight glowing test tubes and his ministry badge. His face finished changing and he started to speak but it came out in Korean. He smiled, shook his head and waved his hand in front of his face.

"There we go, that much better. Hello my friends and fellow spies. I'm Mr. Black, of Her Majesty's Secret service. I'm here to rescue you. First off I have something to help get you back into a fighting shape. For now we have to keep the cuffs on, but we'll be able to take them off as soon as we get on the plane." He said handing out the test tubes.

"What is this stuff?" One of the Brits asked looking at the white glowing substance.

"Magic, our American friends can explain it if you need more then that, but I have to get back to the front of the truck." Harry said taking out a hip flask and taking a sip. His face turned back into a 65 year old Asian man's face and he put the translation charm back in place before slipping out the side of the truck and climbing back into the cabin.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" One of the Brits asked.

"Magic is real my limy friend. I'm shocked you didn't know that, our government has been using it for years." An American said downing the potion, as soon as he drank it he started to feel the effects.

The three trucks came to an air force base. And Harry used his rank and more fake documents to secure a small plane and a tour of the base for him and Neville as the prisoners were moved onto the small prop plane. As they waked by the stockpiles of weapons they did switching spells on all of the warheads, taking the nuclear and explosive heads off the missiles and switching them for sand. By the time Neville flew off the base Harry was vanishing the shackles, and making clothes for the wounded spies. Neville set a course for the ocean, and as soon as they cleared land he put the plan into a dive headed for the water and they all portkeyed out as Harry lifted the charm on the coins he tossed out of his pocket. The plan would be found weeks later full of dead soldiers and the General. They landed in Harry's office at the DoM and Colin was sitting in Harry's desk chair.

"Conference room, now." He said standing up and walking out of the room.

"Well, that's not what I expected." Harry muttered leading the group down the hall to the conference room. Waiting for them was a bunch of British and American government types.

"You two violated countless laws in a country that's one bad day away from losing it's shit and nuking the world!" Colin yelled.

"Well, that would be hard for them to do boss, seeing as I have every nuclear warhead and air to ground missile warhead they have in my pocket." Harry said expanding the crates from his uniform pocket on the conference room floor.

"You did what now?" Colin asked looking shocked.

"I kidnapped a general, used his face and faked documents to gain access to the files collected by their spy network, I have those as well." Harry said as Neville expanded the boxes of files on the conference room table. "I used the files to locate the hidden missile silos, and the prison they used to keep these guys locked up. We also found a General looking to get out of the country. He's a wealth of knowledge and his son is magical which you all know what that means for the family. We took a plane, flew it over the ocean, aimed it at the water, and portkeyed to my office. They'll find the plane in the ocean full of dead bodies. They will never know they've been had. That we took their warheads." Harry said loosening his Army uniform shirt and tie.

"So you walked into North Korea and took our lost agents back, stole their ICBM Warheads, and turned a General?" A man with an American accent in a dark gray suit asked.

"No, we dropped a portkey target stone near the General's house. We portkeyed in after dark, took the General and his personal staff out. We then used his house as a base of operations. But the rest of that covers it." Harry said smiling at Hermione who was sitting at the table.

"Right, well, we're going to need a full debriefing, but I think we can take some time to look over these things. I think we can give you a day to rest and file the report." Colin said looking shocked.

"Thanks boss, we've been going at it for three days straight and some sleep would be nice." Harry said scratching his chin.

"Sure Agent Black. I'll walk you two back to your office." Colin said standing up from the table and walking the two men out of the room. "I can't believe you two did that. It was wickless and dangerous." Colin said.

"Well, you called us chainsaws, we just proved you right. We might be chainsaws, but when you need to chop down a forest of trees you don't use a fucking scalpel." Harry said with a smile. "You use a fucking chainsaw. In time we'll learn to be surgical, and subtle. But for now, we're messy and loud. But as you can see, messy and loud can still get the job done." Harry said patting Colin on the shoulder.

"Yes, I see that. I think we can start looking into some more missions for the two of you. Something that suits your skills." Colin said with a smirk.


End file.
